wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Oh god it's open bar.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
