Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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