she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
