Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
