I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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