I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
