hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
