He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
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