I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I think I just sharted jello shots
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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