I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
