she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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