i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
