We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
