Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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