i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
