He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
