My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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