just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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