Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
