Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Randomize
