So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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