i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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