I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
