I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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