Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
