Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
