Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
