Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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