i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
