yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Nobody cheats on THIS.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
