I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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