I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
