I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
