I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
