put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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