How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
