They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
