garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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