ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
