Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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