I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Randomize
