sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Randomize
