dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
