i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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