oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
