dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
