Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
