Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
