Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
