Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
